Spoiler Alert: I have! But I didn't fully understand how or why...until now! The shifts I've been experiencing this month are epic. And so of course, I had to hop into a solocast asap to share all the massive a-ha's and insights with my most special pod-community! From the benefits of the Morning Pages practice to why I will no longer have a Plan B, this episode is next level, so be prepared for a major energy upgrade! Listen in for:
- How Embodiment is going
- My practice of the Morning Pages
- Uncovering negative thought loops
- Law of attraction
- Not letting yourself be fully happy - how it shows up and the reasons why
- Living in a manifestation of a lower vibration
- Why Plan B is BS
- Breaking away from self-sabotoge
And more
Listen to my most recent episode here and grab my IG Live replay with Melanie Huestis
Link to The Artist's Way
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Episode Transcript Follows: Please note transcipt is created using speech recognition software and may contain errors. Please listen to audio linked up for full episode.
Hey everyone. Welcome to another episode of the open to alchemy podcast. I am your host Lauren. And I am coming to you with a mid month solo cast. It's um, the third week of January, actually recording this. On January 23rd and it'll come. Uh, tomorrow, January 24th on Tuesday. So you're getting this right in the middle As close to live as possible. And I just really felt called to record something today because. I have been shifting so many things this month. Feeling so many things, getting so many ahas and. It's, you know, to be honest, it's been a lot, but it's also been really beneficial. And I thought that if there's Any reason at all that. Um, through all of this, it is certainly so that not only. I can benefit and move forward with. More peace and more clarity and more expansion. And I can. I improve my energy and my outlook and have an impact on my family and have an impact on my friends and my community. And my clients and all of you, my podcast community.
So I wanted to share in real time, some of the things that I've been experiencing and Some of the wisdom that I have been working through. And it's funny. A few other people that I am in community with have also been experiencing a lot of this. So you might notice this with other people that you listen to or follow a lot of interesting energy in this January space. I just did a live on Friday with my podcast guests from last week, Melanie Houston. So if you. Didn't listen to that. Podcast. I'd love for you to click on that after. And if you didn't get a chance to catch our lives that we did on Friday, all about what's happening. Energetically. Definitely. Take a listen to that. You can find it on my Instagram open.to dot alchemy. And that will give you a little bit more insights that she shared and that I shared about what we're experiencing.
But if you had also listened to my first podcast of the year, you'll know that my word of the year is embodiment and that is most definitely what is happening. Thus far. In January. I have been feeling a lot. I have been slowing down. I have been giving myself time to really. Be aware of things, notice things. Think about things, process things in a way that. I just haven't in recent months or recent years. Everything for me, usually. Moves very fast. I love moving fast. I love that. You know, not a hectic energy, but just sort of that like fast paced momentum, ever changing, ever evolving thing to thing, energy hummingbird.
And it's not that I'm looking to go. Opposite of that. But I'm really looking for is. Living in that energy. Always the best way to serve myself and those around me. And the answer is clearly no. It is fun and it is. Fast paced, and it is a high energy and it is. So many wonderful things. And I think it can leave me feeling a little bit burnt out. And a little bit just like pulled in so many directions that it is all. Surface and a lot of surface. So there's like a huge breadth. There's like a lot, but there is not as much. Uh, depth and integration and real and body men that I'm looking for. So that is why I chose that word.
And. One of the practices that I have been working with this month is called the morning pages. Which is from the book the artist's way. And I've talked about this a little bit on. My Instagram feed about really how amazing This process has been. So essentially the artist's way is a beautiful book about getting back in touch with our creativity. The author is Julia Cameron and this book, the artist's way was written many, many years ago. I feel like in the seventies, maybe around that time period.
I will link to it in the show notes so that you can see for yourself, but that so many of us have this, um, just incredible. All of us, really this incredible opportunity to be creative in all walks of life. Whether it be that we have a specific creativity focused job or not. And that, because we have all of these things that are always racing through our head and You know, mental blocks and beliefs and just the clutter of the day that it often. Clouds are creative pursuits and gets in the way of all of that. And so her recommended practice of the morning pages is to sit down in the morning. As soon as you can, maybe it's first thing when you just get up in the morning and do it straight away, or for me it's been. After one kid goes off to school, but before I take the other one, I have this beautiful window of time that I can sit with a cup of coffee or my lemon honey water, if I'm doing well and you write three pages of stream of consciousness. So. Whatever you are thinking about. Whatever's on top of your mind, a problem, an issue, something funny whatever's on your mind, just get it out of your head and put it on paper.
And it's really interesting because the first week or 10 days or so for me, it was really just this complete. Outpouring of all of this stuff that I've been thinking about with my work, with my business, it was almost just like this cathartic release of. The years of things that have been like circling around in my mind or all of these things that were hiding Right. On the surface things that were certainly hidden under the surface of conscious. And so it was really incredible to just get all of that out, almost like a therapy session over the period of. Seven or 10 days. And then I was able to get a little bit more into the present. Which I also thought was really interesting that at the beginning it was all of this stuff that I had been like Sort of just like holding onto unknowingly and it was trapped inside and it wasn't until I got all of that out, that I was able to really write down, like what was currently on my mind that was happening currently and not. Deeper in the past. And so I'm at the point now where. You know, it's a little bit about what's happening in my day or what happened yesterday or what I'm thinking about or something funny or an idea or a problem, or.
It really is a little bit more of a current present moment clearing out, which is great. And then it's like captured it's free from you. It's released. It's really. I am just so incredibly shocked, but I shouldn't be, I guess, about how beneficial this practice is. Even with my meditation practice, even with my channel writing or journaling practice.
This is a different way of spinning it a different way of looking at it. There's no prompts. There's no. Questions to, you know, to, to ponder. It's really just all a release of whatever is in your brain at the time. And there has been a lot that has surfaced. And I'm really, I'm really loving it. It really feels like In many ways. This is. The most. Present. I have been able to be. Through this process, I have really. You know, Dove into dived into. More of my thought process, more of my, my thought patterns, my loops. And even though I have felt and believe myself to be. Um, very positive person, always looking for the good, always looking for the bright side Always being a cheerleader and a champion for. Everyone around me. What I've noticed in this writing process is that there are definitely. Beliefs that I hold about myself. That are negative in, um, at their core. And so what I mean by that is. Aye.
You know, and I, I, it's funny cause I actually put this in my stories last week and it got a ton of a ton of feedback about the fact that What I have been manifesting in my life while beautiful and so many incredible things to feel really grateful and blessed for. Has also been limited in a lot of ways. And understanding that those limitations that I have been feeling. Our limitations that I have been creating, and this really gets into a lot of Abraham Hicks and law of attraction stuff. I actually am going to be recording an episode on this next week with my dear friend. Charlene, who is like super well-versed in Abraham Hicks. And for those of you that don't know, Abraham Hicks is a. Um, channeled entity by Esther Hicks and her husband, Jerry Hicks.
And if you Google that there is just like oodles and oodles of YouTube and books and recordings and writings and interviews. And there is just this incredible body of work. But it's really all about law of attraction. And you know, which, which is all about like, attracts, like, so. What you're thinking about really creates more of that. What you are. The energy that you are circling around in brings more of that energy to you. So if you are feeling. Nervous or stressed or angry or sad or any of those sort of. Negative or lower vibration emotions then? That is what you are really programming yourself to. Look for identify and call end. So you will continue to find more of that in your life.
And conversely, if you are. Putting yourself in the feeling of. Joy and peace and play and fun and gratitude then. That's what you're going to be noticing, and that's what you're going to be looking for. And that's what you're going to be calling in. More into your life. And I know this might sound silly or it's something that you've heard about the secret was like that super popular book and movie a bunch of years ago. And so that might be your only real Experience or knowledge about the subject and. It's funny because even though I have read about it a lot and studied it a little bit and. And tried to use it in practice. It truly wasn't until I got into the morning pages and really began to understand. And see in the moment, what my thought process was, what that negative cycle was That I have been able to really. Again, Understand and integrate and really embody this idea of the law of attraction. And so I'm super excited to dig into more of that and be sharing with that, sharing more of that with you soon.
But one of the biggest things that I have been able to pull out. What I wanted to share with you is because I think this is something that is Super common. It's definitely something that I've had many conversations with people in my community with clients and friends about is. This idea of. Really feeling afraid and not allowing yourself to be. Fully happy. Not allowing yourself to fully experience joy. Because of the fear of pain or the fear of hurt. It's definitely something that I have now. Really. Really, really understand that I have. You know, I have been holding myself back. From feeling. All the good that I can. And it doesn't mean that I don't feel good and it doesn't mean that I don't feel happy and joyful and excited and grateful. I feel all of those feelings and I feel all of those feelings a lot.
And I also have a lot of feelings of. Worry and fear. And. Anxiety and You know, just a general sense of. Of keeping full joy, keeping full. Ecstasy or bliss or elation. A little bit at arms length. And so it's no wonder that that will be. What I experience in my life. I have. A mix of highs and lows. I have a mix of joy and sadness, a mix of pleasure and pain. And. I don't know that that's avoidable, but it's not what I want my mix. If you would. My percentages are not where I want them to be.
And. It has felt like for someone. Like me, who was blessed to have so much. That I shouldn't. Be in this state of. Melancholy. Or I don't know how to put words to really what the emotion is. It's not depression, it's not despair, but it's like just this, like under lying sense of. Things could go wrong. Things could be bad. Things could term. And, you know, there's a lot of reasons why, if you are also feeling this way, That that can happen for me. It is Without question. A trauma informed response. If you are someone who has experienced trauma in your life. Then. Of course you are going to have and built in feeling that something bad could happen again. I mean, that's just sort of common sense how we all process that is such an individual thing, but.
When you have layers and layers of bad things that you've experienced. I think for me, it's just become very natural to. While I look for the positive. I'm still preparing for something bad. So there's this idea of. You know, worst case scenario planning. There's this idea of. Always being on high alert, always sort of scanning My surroundings always scanning the family, always scanning my, in my environment, my emotions for. What could go wrong? What could be bad waiting for the other shoe to drop? Like what can I control? What can I do to keep myself safe? What can I do to keep my family safe? And what that does is put me in a constant energy flow Of that emotion.
And of course, I'm just going to be feeling more of that because that's what I keep putting out. So that's what I keep attracting. I keep attracting. That energy. And it keeps. Joy full joy, all the joy that I know that I can experience all the peace, all the happiness, all the pleasure At a distance. It keeps my mind in a negativity bias, which means that. It's it's always looking and ready and prepared for the bad. Then I'm always going to find it. And it's just, it's so interesting to me that I can feel positive and I can feel all of these happy feelings, but if you just Just scratch the surface. There is that feeling of, well, I'll be prepared if this happens or what if this happens? So let me think about this thing or like that bad thing might be right around the corner. So I don't want to give, I don't want to give all of myself to this happiness. I don't want to give all of myself to this excitement.
And it really, for me, prevents a lot of future visioning. And I've been noticing this more and more when people talk about. They're so excited for this vacation. For example, this is a perfect thing that comes up all the time. Oh, I can't wait. I'm going to go on this trip and we're going to go to the beach and I'm going to put my toes in the sand and I'm going to have my Banana daiquiri and we're going to be in the sun and all of these things. And I noticed. How hard it was for me to get excited. About a vacation. And when I say that, I don't know, it might sound like it's like the craziest, most awful thing in the world, but I just want to share this with you. In case it's something that you're experiencing too.
It's not that I wasn't looking forward to the trip. It's not that I wasn't excited to. Go and be, and have a break and spend time with my family. But I wasn't fully feeling. I haven't been able to fully feel what that feeling of being in that place. With my toes in the sand. With the sun shining on my face with my book, with the breeze, with the kids, laughing, holding hands with my husband, with the music playing.
I haven't been able to fully embody that feeling because something inside of me was saying, Maybe it won't happen. You shouldn't give it all of your positive energy. Maybe someone will get sick. Maybe there'll be COVID. You know, we were supposed to go on a trip last December a year ago. And my husband had a very serious health situation. So it prevented that trip.
We've had trips canceled because of COVID we've had trips canceled because of, of. Other illnesses and that feeling of don't get too excited, something might happen, has prevented me from getting too excited. Well, what that means is. I'm not living fully. I am not being in the highest potential for who I am here to be. I am not living in the vibration, in the energy that I want to be in. And if you can't feel that feeling. For yourself, if you can't create that emotion. That feeling then it is going to be infinitely harder for you to attract more of that feeling and have that be the way that you experience life. Because that negativity bias or those anxious thoughts are getting in the way.
And so this has been like, Earth shatteringly. Amazing for me too. Really dive into and understand and recognize about myself. And I just couldn't wait another minute. To share it with you because if you are. Experiencing this, it is a lot and it can feel really. Frustrating. And it can feel depressing. It can feel really upsetting to be like, I'm happy. I'm good. I have all of these things. And yet I keep feeling like I shouldn't, or I can't, or I'm afraid to, and there can be this really huge disconnect and.
And I think really what I'm talking about is a misalignment from how you want to feel, how, you know, you can feel, what you know is possible for you, which is infinite, joy, infinite, peace, infinite, calmness, and clarity. And. An ecstasy and bliss and all of these emotions that we have incredible access to all of the time.
And to feel like you are not living into that. Is crappy. For lack of a better word. So even this whole idea of like preparing for a plan B is kind of BS, right? Because if you are preparing for a plan B, then you are setting the stage that a plan B can and will happen. That's it is acceptable to you that you are ready for it.
Well, if you're already putting that energy mentally, physically, emotionally, spiritually out there that you are ready for plan B. Then why would plan a, B what you call in. The whole idea of, well, I'm going to expect the worst, but hope for the best. That. I don't find really happens. If you are expecting the worst to happen, then That's really what you're going to be experiencing. The other thing that can come up with this in addition to the whole. Trauma anxiety, fear piece of it that I've expressed so far is. Is there a self-worth component to it? Is there a part of us potentially that doesn't feel. Fully worthy of getting everything we want.
And therefore we keep what we want at an arms length. By self-sabotaging. Either with our thoughts. Or our actions. And. Is that. A place that maybe. We don't even realize we're doing. But it's sort of that subtle way of, well, I don't even know if I'm capable of that thing, so I'm not going to try for it because if I really say that I wanted and I don't get it, then I'm going to feel disappointed.
And so it's easier to just say that I don't want it or that thing could never be mine or, you know, I could never have the relationship or I could never have the business or I could never have. The the body I could never run the marathon. I could never launch the thing. And by saying that you continue to make that true.
Again, because your thoughts and your emotions. They're creating the reality that we're living in. So whether consciously or not, if you don't feel that, that thing that you want can be yours. The energy and the emotion that you're experiencing is lack is. Not enoughness is not feeling worthy. And when you're in that space, when your emotions and your feelings are telling you That you are less than an, you are. Not capable. What you're really telling yourself is that you. Aren't good. You're not good enough. And if you're not good enough, then why would you take the action? If you're not good enough. Then why would you call in. The opportunity. And even if the opportunity did land right in front of you.
Would you take it? Would you run towards it and say, this is it. This is exactly what I've been looking for. I can do it. I'm so excited for all that I'm going to achieve. This is exactly what I want. No, you're going to continue to put it at a distance. Because that's the feeling that you have been living in.
And so again, I know this is potentially a lot, um, It feels like a lot, even in sharing it, it feels like I can feel the energy of everything becoming. More. Clear in my mind, as I express it. That's part of the reason that I love doing this podcast is because it allows me to. Cher and and work through and vocalize give voice and energy to the things that i am processing again in The hopes that It also is something that resonates with you and offers you a glimpse at What it's like to work through something like this or gives voice To something that you have been thinking about that it creates A little bit of a container for you to sit and listen and review Where this lands with you and how this makes you feel and if there's parts of it that resonate with you and that click and that connect i would definitely encourage you to. to sit with it and to explore it and to see Where you can shift Your own Way of thinking and feeling and emoting about a situation And release some of the blocks that have been keeping you from being in the feeling that you truly want to be having
And so we're going to be talking about this some more when i do That next interview which is happening next week so it'll be on pretty soon after that because i feel like this in addition to all of my other jobs has become So critical and crucial to my wellbeing at the moment is Just a constant noticing of how i'm feeling Why that emotion is coming up And what i'd rather be feeling instead I'm going to talk more about that Process and practice coming up because i feel like i could do a whole episode just on diving into that
But let me know how this resonates for you let me know what questions you have about this so i can Make sure to talk about it share about it my experience get other people's answers and their experience That's how we learn by being in community by being willing to ask ourselves the question by being open to sharing our experiences with others whether it be With me or other people in our pod community or whether it be with a friend or family member When you share what you are experiencing and what you're working through and and places you're looking to grow or change or if you've experienced growth and change and you are just like ready to shout it from the rooftops we all need To hear and learn and grow from each other it's just beyond beneficial so please share with with me with us with someone in your life
And again just beyond grateful for. for you for listening for sharing and downloading and subscribing and All of the love that you give to this podcast it's just um it's really incredible and i do feel really blessed to Have all of you in my life
and I have some wonderful sessions that i have been offering to clients right now i have a 60 minute one-on-one energy boost session which is just a beautiful hour to spend completely on your wellbeing If you have anything like this that you want to tackle in terms of how you're feeling A belief that you've been holding onto a problem you are looking to solve then An energy boost session can absolutely get to the root of it clear it we can put reiki energy to it we can put mindset work belief clearing Human design so many different tools that we can use together to make that breakthrough and get you to a better place in Your mind and your body and your emotional wellbeing so definitely if that's of interest to you Check out my website open to alchemy.com and i will see you there or on my instagram open.to dot alchemy
I wish you all a wonderful rest of your january and it's going to be amazing we are we are in this together we are All here too. To be the best that we can be and to feel All the good feelings all the positivity all the beautiful things that This world has to offer And it doesn't mean that there's not going to be Things that come our way but but spending any time preparing for them is wasted time because It's not going to prevent the pain It's not going to prevent The heartache it's not going to prevent the stress the anxiety the it's just not the things are going to come our way
and Actually what i feel now pretty strongly about is the opposite is true the more time that we spend in Joy in happiness in gratitude really fully feeling All of those positive emotions as deeply embodied as we can The more prepared we're going to be for the bad things the more resourced we are going to feel the more of Uh, toolbox and a foundation we are going to have to be able to navigate those things that we Truly can't prepare for it we truly can not be ready for or predict and all we do when we spend time worrying and Fearing Is being a place of worry and fear and i don't want to spend any more time there so if you are ready To like me Just give yourself up to feeling good then let's do more of this together and i can't wait to see you In In this place because it's where i've been for the past few days fully and it's been amazing And i know you can be there too So much love to you all and i will see you and talk to you soon Wow.